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I reckon *The Lives of Others* vibes with this. That flick – chef’s kiss! – it’s all about watchin’, listenin’, controllin’. Sex-dating’s the same, innit? You’re tracked – “He knows everything!” – every swipe, every DM. Makes me twitchy, like Sauron’s got his eye on your nudes. Once, I tried it myself – yeah, Gandalf on Grindr, mate! Profile said “Wise wizard seeks sparky lass.” Got a match. She asked for wand pics. I sent my staff. She unmatched. Rude! Laughed my arse off, tho.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! I’m thinkin’, “This is it! The end of my watch shop!” Everyone’s rushin’ out, and I’m like, “Wait! My tools!” But I can’t leave ‘em behind. So, I grab my toolbox and dash outside.

Weather flooding: Full list of 133 areas where flooding is ‘expected’ as ‘danger to life’ warning issued