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About Manchester

But yo, some clients proper piss me off, innit. Like, this one bloke, treatin’ the escort like dirt – I wanted to lamp him, swear down! “You’re not a ghost yet, mate,” I’m mutterin’, thinkin’ of Boonmee’s vibes. Then there’s the good ones, yeah? Met this escort lass, proper sweet, told me she paid her nan’s bills with the gig. Made me heart sing, fam – real talk.

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I wander down Horsemarket, and let me tell ya, it’s a trip. Shops everywhere! I pop into this little café called The Old Well. Best scone I’ve ever had! I mean, I’m a simple guy, but this scone was like a hug from a grandma. I’m munching away, and suddenly, this old bloke starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the history of Barnard Castle, and I’m like, “Mate, I’m just here for the scones!” But he’s passionate, and I can’t help but listen.

Former pub landlady to open new deli in Barnard Castle