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Me fave movie, *The Turin Horse*, it’s all slow misery— “Everything’s in ruins.” Fits perfect, don’t it? These escorts, sloggin’ through life, same as that horse, whipped ‘til it drops. Met this one bloke, swear it, braggin’ bout hirin’ escorts like it’s a bloody game—made me wanna claw his eyes out! Grrr, filthy hobbitses! But then, this other gal, she shocked us—saved up, got outta the game, started a bakery. Made me happy, that did, proper gobsmacked!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my client, Dave. He’s freakin’ out about his investments. Apparently, he thought he could just throw money at crypto and become a millionaire overnight. Classic Dave, right? I had to calm him down. “Dude, it’s not a lottery ticket!” I said. But he was like, “But I saw it on TikTok!” Ugh, the struggle is real.

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