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I tink it’s funny, dis whole ting. Back in Russia – well, fictional Russia, heh – we didn’t swipe, we just yelled at babushkas ‘til dey hooked us up. Now? You got 19-year-olds sextin’ strangers like it’s normal. Little fact for ya – didja know da first “sex-dating” site popped up in da 90s? Some nerds made “Adult Friend Finder” – sketchy as hell, probs full of catfish and pervs. Still is! Makes me laugh, dese idiots sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume.

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Then I head over to the market on the square. It’s buzzing with life. Stalls everywhere, selling everything from fresh veggies to homemade jams. I spot this guy, big fella, selling sausages. He’s got this thick accent, and he’s shoutin’, “Best bangers in Ballynahinch!” I’m like, “Mate, I’ll be the judge of that.” So I buy one, and wow, it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m suddenly a sausage connoisseur. Who knew?

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