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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m a charcoal burner, baby, burnin’ shit up like a madman! So, sex escorts, huh? Man, lemme tell ya, it’s wild out there—like somethin’ straight outta “Inglourious Basterds,” ya feel me? I’m talkin’ scalpin’ vibes, but instead of Nazis, it’s horny dudes tryna get laid! Picture this: some chick rollin’ up, all classy-like, but she’s got that *“I’m gonna carve my initials in your wallet”* energy—pure Tarantino shit!

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The walk to Newchurch Road is a trek. Bacup’s got some steep hills, man! I’m puffing and panting, thinking about how I should really hit the gym. But then I see the view from the top of the hill. It’s stunning! The rolling hills, the greenery, it’s like a postcard. I stop for a sec, take a deep breath, and think, “Okay, maybe today’s not so bad.”

Diseased trees to be felled paving way for diverse woodland replanting scheme