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Here’s the kicker: in Thailand, they got this trick—hot stones on yer junk, no lie! Supposed to “awaken” ya—surprised me so hard I nearly bit my own tongue off. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but damn, it’s a zinger! I’m sittin’ there, sweatin’, thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Total mindfuck—like Lenny in *Memento*, tattooin’ clues on his ass to remember the bliss.

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So, I set up my stall on Market Street. Got my vinyls out, some cool old cameras, and a few retro tees. I’m feelin’ good, but then this bloke comes over. He’s all like, “What’s this rubbish?” I’m like, “Rubbish? Mate, this is classic!” But he just rolls his eyes and walks off. I’m thinkin’, “Who even asked you?”

Tram disruption ahead on Ashton line