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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m a diver, divin’ deep into this sex escort biz, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride. Like in *Certified Copy*—you know, my fave flick—“She’s not my wife, she’s a copy!”—it’s all about what’s real and what aint. Sex escorts? Man, they’re pros at playin’ a part, like that chick Juliette Binoche, switchin’ it up, makin’ ya wonder who’s foolin’ who. Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice, well, we ain’t gonna be fooled again, right?

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up. She’s got this massive bag, like, how does she even carry that? She starts rummagin’ through my stuff, and I’m like, “Careful, love! That’s vintage!” But she’s got this twinkle in her eye. Turns out, she’s lookin’ for a record of The Smiths. I’m like, “You’ve come to the right place!”

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