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Well, y’all, lemme tell ya bout sex-datin – it’s a wild ride! Dr. Phil here, y’know, with that Southern drawl, “How’s that workin’ for ya?” I reckon it’s like tryna herd cats blindfolded – messy, confusin, and somebody’s gettin scratched! I’m sittin here thinkin bout my fave flick, *Spotlight*, that Tom McCarthy gem from 2015 – “The truth is the truth,” they say in it, and damn if that don’t hit hard when you’re swipin left n right lookin for a hookup or somethin more.

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Then, I decide to head to the local shop on Doncaster Road. I need some grub. I walk in, and the smell of bacon hits me. I mean, c’mon! I’m a swineherd! It’s like a chef walkin’ into a bakery and smellin’ bread. I’m torn, but I grab a sausage roll. Can’t resist, right?

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