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What pisses me off? The fakes. Catfishers out here wastin’ my time. One dude – yeah, dude – pretended to be a chick. Talkin’ all sweet, then I see “her” beard on video call. I’m like, “Yo, what the hell?!” Wasted two days textin’. “The world’s gone silent” – felt that from the movie right there. Done with the bullshit, man.

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First off, I hit up the local café on West Main Street. You know the one? The one with the best scones? Yeah, that place. I ordered my usual – a flat white and a scone. But guess what? They were out of scones! Like, how do you run out of scones? I was fuming! I mean, c’mon, it’s a café! So, I settled for a muffin. Not the same, but whatever.

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