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One time, I hear story – ancient Rome, dey do massage wit oil, naked slave girl, crazy orgy vibe, very nice! I shock, history wild! Now, it sneaky parlor, dim light, wierd music, smell like cheap perfume. I go in, heart go fast, “What if police?” but den, ahh, relax, hand magic, “Nothing is as it seems,” like movie say.

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But then, just as I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, I trip over a curb. Like, seriously? I’m sprawled out on the pavement, chips flying everywhere. I’m so embarrassed! A couple of teenagers laugh, and I just wanna disappear. But then, the old lady comes over and says, “Don’t worry, love. You’re not the first!”

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