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Hey bud, so escort huh? I’m thinkin’ bout them sleek rides, not the shady stuff, ya know? Like, I’m a machine milkin’ operator, but if I was runnin’ escorts—cars, I mean—I’d be all over it. Them fancy black SUVs, tinted windows, rollin’ deep like in “No Country for Old Men”. You seen that flick? My fave, hands down. That scene where Llewelyn’s truck just peels out—man, that’s escort vibes right there. “What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?” I’d ask that to some slick escort driver, ha!

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But nope! Back to the grind. Next up, a call from a guy on Crewe Road. He’s all, “My car won’t start!” I’m like, “Did you try turning the key?” I mean, come on! But he’s convinced it’s a conspiracy. “The battery’s fine, it’s the universe!” I’m rolling my eyes so hard, I think I might’ve strained something.

Winsford United continue to bolster from Alsager Town's ranks