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Me, I’d be rubbish at it—too busy eyein’ the exits, sippin’ martinis. But respect, yeah? They’re out there, dodgin’ creeps, makin’ bank. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but some nights they’re probly thinkin’, “My condition does not match my vision!”—dreamin’ big while stuck in a crap motel. Love that grit. You tried it, mate? Tell me over a drink—shaken, not stirred, obviously.

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Then, I’m walking past the Abergavenny Castle. That place is epic! I mean, it’s got history oozing out of its walls. I’m snapping pics, feeling like a tourist in my own town. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs into me. Like, full-on tackle mode. I drop my coffee. My beautiful, precious coffee! I’m fuming. I look at the kid, and he’s just laughing. I can’t even be mad. Kids, man. They’re like little tornadoes of chaos.

Man, 25, arrested on suspicion of assault in Abergavenny