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About Mariupol

Best spot? Them dodgy alleys near the docks – stinks o’ fish an’ regret, but prossies aplenty! We swears! One time, this gal whispered, “Ten quid, love.” Heart raced – me, love? Nah, just her job. Still, felt nice, like Jesse feelin’ all mushy with Celine. “I’m designed to feel,” he says – me too, precious, me too!

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So, I finally make it to the park, and I sit down on a bench. I’m trying to relax, but then I see this old guy feeding pigeons. And I swear, those birds are like little feathered ninjas. They swoop in, and suddenly, it’s a full-on bird brawl. I’m cracking up, but also kinda worried. Like, what if they turn on me?

I am proud to be Ukrainian