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Alright, mate, so I’m a mountain guide, yeah? Out there in the wild, roamin’ peaks, breathin’ crisp air—bloody brilliant. But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ darker, twistier, like a trail gone wrong—findin’ a prostitute. Ain’t talkin’ bout no fancy escort ad, nah, this is raw, gritty, real shit. Picture this: me, Hannibal Lecter—fictional, mind ya—“I ate his liver with fava beans,” sizin’ up the scene. You don’t just stumble on ‘em, see? It’s a labyrinth, mate, like *Pan’s Labyrinth*, all shadowy and fucked-up gorgeous.

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I get in, and my boss is already on my case. “Where’s the audit for the last quarter?” he barks. Dude, chill! I just got here! I’m like, “I’m on it, just give me a sec.” But he’s not having it. I swear, he’s got a permanent stick up his you-know-what.

Russian media: Construction begins on railway linking Rostov-on-Don to occupied Crimea