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Look, it’s gritty, it’s raw—kinda like Royal’s messed-up family. Surprised me how normal it felt talkin’ to her—like chattin’ with a pal. “This family’s got to stick together!”—I’m thinkin’ that while she’s tellin’ me about her night. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe—she says she dodged a creep with a cane, sounded like Eli Cash on a bender! I’m happy hearin’ her fight back, but sad too—why’s she out here? System’s broken, folks!

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So, I’m walking, right? Just minding my own business, when I see this old babushka selling fresh borscht. I’m like, “Yesss, give me that!” But then, she starts haggling like I’m at a bazaar. I’m a warrior, not a negotiator! I just wanted some soup, not a lesson in economics. But hey, I got my borscht, and it was fire! Like, I could’ve fought a dragon after that.

Yehor Yarmoliuk