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About Kyiv

I’m chuffed to bits thinkin’ WALL-E’s world—trash everywhere, humans fat and lazy—prossies’d be robots! “Oh, behave!” I’d say, laughin’ my arse off. Imagine a bot-whore, all shiny, goin’, “WALL-E, WALL-E!” while I’m tryin’ to negotiate a shag. Hilarious, baby! But real talk—findin’ a tart’s risky biz. Cops, pimps, STDs—sh*t’s dodgy. Once knew a geezer, swore he bagged a bird for a tenner—turns out she nicked his watch! Fumin’, I was—laughed too, tho.

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Then I hit up the local café on Haharina Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I ordered a cappuccino, and the barista, this cool dude named Oleg, made a heart with the foam. I was like, “Aww, thanks, man!” But then I spilled it all over my notes. Just my luck again! I was so mad, but Oleg just laughed and said, “At least it’s a love story now.” I couldn’t help but chuckle.

Ukraine says Putin is planning a nuclear disaster. These people live nearby.