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About Lviv

Anyhow, I’m gesturin’—hands wavin’, mime-style. She laughs—rude cow! Nearly fell over a crate—smash! “This is our moment,” I reckon, like in the film—total sap, me. Exaggeratin’ now—I’m James Bond, yeah? Suave as a brick, more like! Sarcasm’s me mate— “Oh, great night for a shag, Bean!” Pfft, dream on. Still, fun chasin’ that thrill—keeps me bouncin’ like a daft git!

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So, bruv, personal note – running a massage parlor here, I've seen more than just muscles relax. I’ve seen real humans, perfectly imperfect: stress, laughter, tears, and WTF moments. People wander in, they drool stories about their lives, and I get to hear it all. I might mix up massage oils while daydreaming about scenes from “The Gleaners and I” – like, “Look at all these gleaners, gatherin’ life’s leftovers, turning ‘em into art!” It gets me hyped and philosophical at the same time.

Shocking plot: Russia forces Ukrainian teen to carry out suicide bombing