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Me, I’d prolly trip over my own feet walkin’ in—D’oh!—and spill beer everywhere. Made me mad once, hearin’ how some girls get stuck there, trapped-like. Pisses me off, man! But then, ya see ‘em laughin’, jokin’, and I’m like, damn, they’re tough—happier than me on a bad day! Surprised me, for sure. “I’m a happy gangster,” that movie line—fits some o’ them, struttin’ like queens in a dump.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam, ya know? But the barista, this dude, he’s like, “Sorry, we’re outta milk.” I’m like, “What? In Svalyava?!” I mean, c’mon, it’s not like we’re in the middle of nowhere. So, I settle for black coffee. Ugh, bitter as my ex’s attitude.

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