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Oh, fun fact—didja know erotic-massage used to be, like, sacred? Temples, priests, the works! Not just some shady neon sign crap. Blew my mind! I’m all, “Wow, history’s kinky!” Makes ya feel fancy, like you’re in on a secret.

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So, I’m walking down the street, feeling all sugary and stuff, when I bump into this old dude. He’s like, “Hey, watch where you’re going!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m sorry! I’m just trying to enjoy my pastry!” He grumbles something about “kids these days” and shuffles off. Chill, grandpa!