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But ugh, the creeps—those guys pissed me off! Saw one hagglin’ like she’s a used car. Wanted to zap him to Helheim. “Respect the hustle, you toad!” I yelled in my head. Didn’t tho—too much paperwork. Still, the nerve! Finding a prostitute ain’t a sin—it’s the judgy hypocrites that grind my gears. Like, chill, Frank, “You’re not the only one”—everyone’s got secrets!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this wild hair and a bag full of... I don’t even know what. She starts telling me about her cat, Masha, and how Masha thinks she’s a dog. I’m like, “Lady, that’s hilarious!” But also, I’m thinking, “Why is this my life right now?”

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