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She’s got this scar—jagged, right ‘cross her cheek. Says it’s from a pimp, but I bet she fell outta some drunk’s truck. Adds character, sure, but she’s still a mess. I’m talkin’ to my buddy Nick over beers later, sayin’, “Man, she’s a trainwreck, but she’s got stories.” He laughs, I don’t—too busy hatin’ everything. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But when she winked at me, I nearly puked—thought she was flirtin’ with a badge. Nope, just high as a kite.

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Finally, I get to the office on Vulytsia Haharina. I’m all set to help some clients with their retirement plans. But guess what? My computer crashes. Classic, right? I’m sitting there, staring at the screen like it owes me money. I could feel my blood pressure rising. I mean, c’mon, Romankivtsi! Give me a break!