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So, we’re hagglin’—I’m cheap, she’s stubborn. “Ten bucks!” I shout. She laughs in my face, says, “Honey, I ain’t no charity.” Pisses me off, but damn, she’s got sass! Reminds me of Suzy tellin’ Sam, “I’m not leaving!”—stubborn lil’ chick. I fork over twenty, mutterin’, “You’re tearin’ me apart here!” She winks, and I’m like, *Sweet Jebus, I’m in!* Little known fact—some hookers got code words, like “roses” for cash. Ain’t that sneaky? Blows my mind, man.

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m like, “Let’s hit up the pub on Kostiantynivska Street.” I need a drink after this wild ride. We get there, and it’s packed. Everyone’s buzzing about the weather and the pigeon incident. I’m telling my stories, and people are cracking up. It’s like a mini comedy show.

Fines and imprisonments: How Crimeans are persecuted for the truth about the war in Ukraine and dissatisfaction with the occupation