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But nah, for real, *Blue Is the Warmest Color* vibes hit hard here. “I want you to touch me” — that’s what “whore” screams, right? It’s all about desire, power, fuckin’ NEED. Makes me happy as hell thinkin’ how it flips the script on judgy assholes. You call her a whore? She’s laughin’ all the way to the bank, fam! I’m over here losin’ my shit, like, “YAAAS, QUEEN, GET IT!”

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First call comes in at 8 AM. Some dude on Shevchenka Street is losing his mind ‘cause his car won’t start. I mean, c’mon, bro, it’s not rocket science! I send a guy over, but then I get another call. This time, it’s a lady on Kovalivka Street. She’s freaking out ‘cause her cat, Masha, is stuck in a tree. Like, seriously? A cat in a tree? I’m just picturing this fluffy diva up there, like, “Help! I’m too fabulous to come down!”

Ukraine is winning the economic war against Russia