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Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, lemme tell ya bout this mad thing—findin a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin thru some dodgy backstreet, lookin for action, yeah? Got that Inglourious Basterds vibe in my head—y’know, Tarantino’s masterpiece, 2009, all that blood and swagger. “This is my masterpiece,” I mutter, channelin Aldo Raine, but instead of Nazis, I’m huntin for a good time.

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Finally made it to the office, and guess what? My boss, Oleg, was in a mood. He’s always in a mood, but today was next level. He was ranting about the printer again. “It’s jammed! Fix it!” he yelled. I mean, I’m an office manager, not a tech wizard! I just wanted to get through the day without losing my mind.

The Extraordinary Life Of Leopold Kozlowski, The Last Klezmer Of Galicia