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About Mykolaiv

So, I’m sittin’ on my rock, brain goin’ BRRRR. Prostitutes, man, they’re like—everywhere but nowhere! Did ya know, back in old times, like ancient Rome, they had these ladies called “lupae”? Means she-wolves! Howlin’ at the moon, sellin’ some lovin’—wild, huh? Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout it. “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” I yell, ‘cause—why not? Maybe they used mayo back then, who knows! Slippery stuff, ehehe.

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Then, bam! This dude walks up. He’s got a knife that looks like it’s been through a war. I mean, it’s all rusty and sad. I’m like, “Bro, what happened to this thing?” He laughs and says, “I tried to cut a watermelon.” A watermelon! I can’t even. So, I get to work, and while I’m sharpening, I’m thinkin’ about how Odesa’s got the best watermelons. Like, you can’t beat ‘em. Sweet, juicy, perfect for summer.

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