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Alright, so here’s the deal—finding a prostitute? Psh, it’s like tryna catch smoke sometimes, ya know? I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, sippin’ my coffee, thinkin’, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and lemme tell ya, even Putin’s got nothin’ on the sly moves you need for this gig. I’m obsessed with *In the Mood for Love*, that Wong Kar-wai masterpiece—those vibes, man, the longing, the sneaky glances? That’s the mood I’m picturin’ when I think about this. Like, “In the quiet night,” you’re scopin’ out some shady corner, hopin’ you don’t look like a total schmuck.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. Like, seriously? In the middle of a budget meeting? I thought it was a drill, but nope! Real deal. So, we all pile out onto the street, and I’m standing there in my coffee-stained shirt, looking like a hot mess. And guess what? It’s raining! Just my luck, right?

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