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About Mykolaiv

I tried it once—yep, frog legs and all! This chick’s profile? Total smokeshow. Bio said “loves green guys.” I’m like, score! We vibe online, she’s flirty, I’m drooling. Then bam—meetup’s a disaster. She thought I’d be, uh, *human*. “What’s reality, anyway?” I mutter, quoting Doc Sportello. She bolts, I’m pissed. Dating apps lie, man! False textures everywhere.

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First stop: the local market on Kakhovka Street. I needed some snacks for my audit marathon. I swear, the vendors there are like hawks. “Hey, you! You want fresh tomatoes?” “Nah, I’m good.” “But these are the best in town!” I mean, I get it, but chill, man. I just want to grab some chips and go.

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