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Gets me chuffed tho, thinkin’ how they outsmart the toffs. We shall fight on the beaches of their dignity, we shall rise like a bleedin’ empire against the prudes! Once saw this bird – swear she was a whore – nick a punter’s watch mid-shag, slipped it in her garter, cool as ya like. Laughed me arse off – cheeky sod! Still, gets me goat when folk judge em harsh – who’s the real villain, eh? The toff or the tart?

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As I’m leaving, I run into that same dude from earlier. He’s got a new bet in hand. “You still in?” he asks. I can’t help but laugh. “Man, you’re a glutton for punishment!” But I take his bet anyway.

Ukraine tensions: After eight years of war, an eastern city unifies against Russia