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About Kyiv

So, I’m cruisin’ downtown, right? Lookin’ for some action—nothin’ fancy, just chillin’. Saw this chick, heels high as my dreams, leanin’ by a lamppost. “How you doin’?” I say, all smooth-like. She smirks—boom, I’m hooked! But then—get this—she’s quotin’ prices like a freakin’ menu. Fifty bucks for a “tour of the original,” she says. Straight outta the movie, man—“the original’s just a copy!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—she didn’t get it.

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But then, outta nowhere, this stray dog runs up to me. I’m not even kidding, it looked like it just escaped from a horror movie. I’m like, “Chill, buddy!” But it starts barking like it’s auditioning for a role in a thriller. I’m trying to back away, but it follows me! I’m dodging it like I’m in some weird game of tag. Finally, I find a vendor with some bread and toss it. The dog goes for it, and I’m like, “Phew, crisis averted!”

Leaders call for investigation into heavy civilian casualties in Ukraine