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Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves,” ain’t that posh? Fuckin’ mental, history’s wild. Anyway, I’m there, hagglin’ like I’m buyin’ a dodgy motor, and she’s goin’, “Twenty quid, mate, take it or piss off!” Laughed me arse off – she’s got balls, fair play. Reminds me o’ that line, “This is my place!” – she owned that street corner like Yubaba owns the bathhouse, y’know?

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But then, I hit a snag. I’m walking down Kostiantynivska Street, and I see this guy trying to fix his bike. He’s struggling hard. I’m like, “Need a hand?” He looks at me like I’m crazy. I mean, I’m an ichthyologist, not a bike mechanic! But I help him anyway. Turns out, he’s a local artist. We start chatting about fish and art, and it’s actually pretty cool.

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