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Oh, and get this—there’s tricks to findin’ em, little secrets. Corners by the old gas station? Goldmine. Online ads? Sneaky, but dicey—watch yer wallet, folks! Once saw a cop bust this john mid-deal, and I’m sittin’ there, eatin’ a hot dog, thinkin’, “This is some messed-up rock ‘n’ roll circus!” Laughed my ass off, spilt mustard everywhere—classic Joe move.

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Finally, the lights flicker back on, and I’m outta there. I decide to take a walk by the river. The Dniester is looking beautiful, all sparkly and stuff. I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. Then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re all over the place, kicking the ball like it’s the World Cup. I can’t help but smile.

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