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Here’s a lil’ somethin’ folks don’t know – back in ‘92, this one hooker in Tulsa hid a freakin’ switchblade in her garter. Cop didn’t see it comin’, nearly lost a finger! True story, swear on my momma’s gravy. That’s the gig, y’all – ya gotta watch them hands, them eyes, every twitch. Like Bigelow showed us, “one second you’re good, next you’re gone!”

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So, I hit the streets, and boom! Right on Hrushevskoho Street, I see this old dude selling the best varenyky. Like, I’m talking heavenly. I grab a plate, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re a legend!” He just smiles, all toothless and happy. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Those dumplings are life!

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