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Oi, mate, lemme spin ye a yarn ‘bout escorts, savvy? I’m a librarian, aye, but not yer dusty bookworm—think more rum-soaked, sea-legged, like meself, Cap’n Jack Sparrow! Escorts, now, they ain’t just fancy lasses or gents fer hire, no sir. They be like them shadowy whales in *Werckmeister Harmonies*, loomin’ large, mysterious, pullin’ folks into their orbit. “What’s this all about?” ye ask, stumblin’ thru life like János in that flick, all wide-eyed and lost.

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So, I’m dodging pigeons and trying to enjoy my snack when I hear this commotion down on Shevchenka Street. I’m curious, so I wander over. Turns out, there’s a street performer doing some wild juggling act. I mean, this guy’s tossing flaming torches like it’s no big deal. I’m standing there, mouth agape, when one of the torches goes flying off course! It nearly takes out a lady’s hat. I’m laughing, but also like, “Dude, watch it!”

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