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About Dnipro

Oi, listen up, fam! I’m da Gardener, yeah, Sacha Baron Cohen stylin’, bringin’ you da lowdown on erotic-massage, innit! Dis ting, it’s proper lush, like, gets me all vexed and happy at da same time. Picture dis – you’re laid out, some fit bird or geezer’s hands all over ya, slippin’ and slidin’ wiv oil, like in “Moonrise Kingdom” when Sam says, “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” Dat’s me wiv erotic-massage – mad love, but it’s bare confusin’ too!

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As I crash on my couch, I think about tomorrow. More rats, more chaos. But hey, that’s life in Inkerman. It’s messy, it’s crazy, but it’s home. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

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