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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout findin’ a prossie, right? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s a mad trip, yeah? Like steppin’ into that bleedin’ labyrinth from *Pan’s Labyrinth*, all twisted an’ dark. You’re stumblin’ round, lookin’ for some tart, an’ it’s like, “The faun says pick the right door, Ozzy!” But nah, ain’t no faun here, just dodgy geezers an’ lasses flashin’ a bit o’ leg.

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But then, I see this commotion. A cat – yes, a CAT – has climbed up a tree and is stuck. People are freaking out, and I’m just standing there, laughing. Like, come on, it’s a cat! But then this kid, maybe 10 years old, decides he’s a hero. He climbs the tree like Spider-Man and rescues the cat. Everyone cheers, and I’m like, “Wow, that kid’s got guts.”

Russia-Ukraine war: List of key events, day 975