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So, last week, pissed off, tired, horny as hell, I’m stumblin round town. Minin’s fucked my back, need a release, ya know? This chick, red heels, skirt tight as a vice—Rarrgh!—she’s standin by the old saloon. Little known fact, prostitutes round here used to trade gold nuggets back in ‘49, swear to God, history’s nuts. She winks, I’m like, “Call it waterfalls gonna happen tonight, baby.

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Finally, I grab my stuff and head to the park by the river. It’s a nice spot, you know? But today, it was full of kids screaming and running around. I’m trying to chill, but these kids are like little tornadoes. One kid trips and spills his ice cream everywhere. I can’t help but laugh. Poor kid, but it was hilarious!