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About Mariupol

Da, sexual-massage, it’s a thing, huh? I’m Putin, cold as ice, calculatin’. Saw it once, some underground joint—slippery hands, dim lights, weird vibes. Reminds me of “Her,” that movie—man falls for a voice, so pathetic! Sexual-massage ain’t love, just business. Hands on ya, rubbin’, kneadin’, tension gone—boom, like that. Little fact: ancient China, emperors got it, called it “silk touch.” Fancy, da? Made me happy—stress out, muscles loose, good deal. But angry too—some idiot overcharged, 500 rubles, pizdets! Thought in head: “Capitalist pigs, always grabbin’ cash.”

I’M SIMONE

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But then, just when I think it’s smooth sailing, a fight breaks out. Two guys, both thinkin’ they’re tough. I rush in, and it’s chaos. I’m pushin’ one guy back, while the other’s swingin’ wildly. I’m dodgin’ punches like I’m in a movie. Finally, I get ‘em apart, and I’m like, “You two need to chill!”

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