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So, say you’re huntin’ one down—maybe in Vegas, where it’s all “what happens here, stays here.” You’re dodgin’ casino drunks, lookin’ for that sly wink from some chick in fishnets. I’d be like, “Dude, you lost? The buffet’s THAT way!” Surprised me how chill some are—heard a story ‘bout this gal in Reno who’d knit between clients. KNIT! Granny vibes with a side hustle.

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So, I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this old babushka selling пиріжки (that’s pastries for ya). I couldn’t resist. I mean, who can? I grab one, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking happiness overload. But then, I see a pigeon eyeing me. Like, dude, back off! I’m not sharing my пиріжок!

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