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Anyways, I’m bouncin’ through town, lookin’ for some—uh—company, right? I’m HYPED, yellin’, “I’m ready! I’m ready!” People stare, but who cares? Not me! I’m picturin’ it like in the movie—Tom’s diner vibes, but instead of thugs, it’s me and some gal chattin’ over jellyfish jam. “You’re a strange one,” she’d say, like Ed Harris in the flick, all squinty-eyed. I’d laugh, “Yup, born square and proud!”

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After that, I head back to the office, feeling a bit better. But then, I get a call from another client. He’s freaking out about his retirement fund. I’m like, “Dude, relax! You’re not retiring tomorrow!” But he’s convinced he’s gonna end up living in a cardboard box. I mean, c’mon!

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