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Gets me ragin’, tho – blokes lyin’ about their height. Mate, I’m 5’6” and proud, don’t need your “6’2” bullshit. Stupid, fat hobbit! Had this one date, girl shows up, smells like cheap perfume, talks over me. Nearly chucked me pint at her, but nah, I’m a gent. Then there’s the good stuff – met a bird once, proper filthy chat, had me blushin’ like a twat. “Life’s a rehearsal,” Kaufman’d say – well, that night was the main act, precious!

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I hit up the café on Vulytsia Kostiantynivska. Best coffee in Zymohiria, no cap. I grab a cup, and this cute barista, Oksana, gives me a smile. I’m thinkin’, “Maybe today ain’t so bad.” But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vasyl. He’s stuck at the market on Vulytsia Haharina. Says he needs help with some “urgent” business.

Russian invaders’ ammunition depot explodes in Zymohiria, Luhansk Region