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Heya, pal! D’oh! So, sexual-massage, huh? Man, what a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it, like that time in “Inside Llewyn Davis” when Llewyn’s all moody, strummin’ his guitar, lost in his head. “Hang me, oh hang me,” he sings, and I’m like, dude, a sexy massage coulda fixed ya right up! Loosen them tense shoulders, ya know?

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After my caffeine crisis, I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. The Dnipro River, ya know? It’s pretty chill there, but today? Nah, not so much. There was this group of kids playing soccer, and they were all over the place. I almost got hit by a ball twice! I was like, “Yo, watch it!” But they just laughed. Kids, man. They don’t care.

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