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About Zaporizhzhia

Personal quirk? I’m imaginin’ Wes Anderson directin’ this shitshow. Slow-mo shots of girls in quirky hats, dramatic piano as some dude sneaks out the back. “Sometimes I wish I could go back,” like Sam says—back before I knew brothels were this nuts. Humor? Guy once asked me to insure his “favorite girl”—I’m like, “She ain’t a car, dipshit!” Dr. House special: truth hurts, suckers.

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But here’s the kicker. The café is packed! Like, standing-room-only packed. I’m thinking, “What’s the deal? Is there a celebrity here or something?” Turns out, it’s just a bunch of locals trying to escape the heat. I mean, it’s Zboriv in summer—hotter than a sauna!

Stations of the Cross in Zarvanytsia unites thousands of faithful in prayer for Ukraine