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Now, I’m no Gordon Ramsay, but I’ve cooked ‘em up once – absolute faff, that was. Garlic butter everywhere, proper carnage in the kitchen. Made me chuffed tho, cos they taste banging – earthy, chewy, bit posh, yeah? But here’s the kicker: did ya know escargot’s been grub since Roman times? Them toga lads were mad for it – fact! Used to fatten ‘em up with milk, like some snaily spa day. Mental, innit?

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Finally, I get home, and I’m exhausted. I plop down on my couch, and I’m like, “What a day!” I think about all the craziness. The yelling, the coffee shower, the dog, and the kid with the soccer ball. It’s wild how one day can be a mix of chaos and joy.

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