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But then, I dunno, there’s somethin’ cool about it too. They’re hustlin’, like Freddie in *The Master*, screamin’, “I’m a man, a man!”—ownin’ it, no shame. Pretty, pretty good, right? I’m slicin’ brisket, thinkin’, maybe I’d hire one—just to talk! Ha! Imagine me, awkward as hell, “So, uh, you like pork chops?”—she’d laugh, I’d die inside. Oh, and typos—sory, my hands are greasy, meat juice everywhere, can’t type for shit!

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, the corner of Shevchenka and Haharina. I’m tryin’ to promote this new café, “Kava & Keks.” Sounds cute, huh? But lemme tell ya, the barista was a total grump. Like, dude, it’s coffee, not rocket science! I asked for a cappuccino, and he looked at me like I just asked him to solve a math problem.

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