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Oi mate, erotic-massage, yeah? *beep* Cosmic wisdom kickin’ in—Stephen Hawking here, robotic voice on. It’s like, bloody intimate, right? Touchin’ stars with yer hands, but dirtier. Watched “Caché” – that flick’s my jam, all sneaky vibes and tension. Erotic-massage got that too, yeah? Hidden stuff, like, “Who’s watchin’ me get rubbed down?” *beep* Makes me think— “Something is happening, I don’t know what it is!” Straight outta Haneke’s script, mate.

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Anyway, I’m standin’ there, tryin’ to be all peppy, and this old lady walks in. She’s got a bag full of groceries, and she’s like, “Young man, do you know where the bus stop is?” I’m like, “Lady, you’re in Yany-Kapu, just follow the crowd!” But I helped her anyway. I mean, who doesn’t love a good karma moment, right?

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