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Oh – and the cash? Insane! Top escorts – thousands a night. THOUSANDS. Could buy a restaurant! Live like Remy’s hero. Makes me jealous – sorta. But nah – I’d suck at it. Too awkward. I’d be like – “Uh. Hi. Wanna talk?” Disaster!

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Finally, I get off and head straight for that bakery. I grab a pirozhok, and let me tell you, it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. Flaky, warm, and stuffed with potatoes. I could’ve cried. But then, I see my ex across the street. Of course, right? Just my luck. She’s with some dude who looks like he just stepped out of a fashion magazine. I’m like, “Really? You couldn’t pick a less perfect guy?”