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So, I dig into this—turns out, sexual-massage ain’t new. Ancient Rome had it—orgies with a side of backrubs. Freaky, huh? Makes me happy knowin’ humans been freaky forever. But here’s the kicker—some places, it’s legit therapy! Like, in Thailand, they’ve got these “soapy massages”—girls lather you up, slippin’ and slidin’, all legal-like. I’m jealous—where’s MY soapy sesh? Closest I got was a loofah and a dream. Meanwhile, sketchy parlors here? Cops bust ‘em, and I’m like, “Let ‘em live, jeez!” Hypocrisy pisses me off—politicians preach purity, then get caught mid-rub. Typical.

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So, I grab Borscht, and we hustle over to the festival. It’s on the main square, you know, where they have that big fountain? The vibe is lit! There’s music, food stalls, and people everywhere. I’m feeling the energy, man. I get a plate of varenyky, and they’re so good I almost cry. Like, who knew dough and potatoes could bring so much joy?

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