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Exaggeratin’ for fun—imagine me, Snoop, runnin’ a erotic-massage joint, call it “Doggystyle Rubs.” Hella candles, gin and juice on tap, bitches purrin’ like kittens. “You want it deep, fam?” I’d say, smirkin’. Sarcasm hittin’ hard when fools think it’s all porn—nah, playa, it’s art, fo’ shizzle.

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Then, I’m walking down the street, and outta nowhere, this stray dog starts following me. I name him “Borscht” because why not? He’s got this scruffy fur and these big ol’ eyes. I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m a dog dad.” But Borscht is chill, just trotting along, sniffing everything.

The Armed Forces of Ukraine destroyed a Russian command post in the occupied Kherson region