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Downside? Costs a freakin’ fortune – “One million dollars,” my ass! And some places? Shady as fuck – had a masseuse once who whispered, “Extra?” Nah, lady, I ain’t here for that! Keep it classy, like Polanski’s shots – dark, moody, real. Anyway, erotic-massage ain’t just foreplay – it’s history, it’s skill, it’s – damn, it’s power. Try it, bro – tell me I’m wrong!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome coffee? I order my usual – a double shot of espresso. The barista, this dude named Oleg, is like, “You want it strong or strong?” I’m like, “Bro, I need to feel my heart race!” He laughs, and I’m already vibing.

Russian occupation forces turn children's hospital in Zaporizhzhia Oblast into military hospital