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Okay, real talk—sometimes it’s awkward. Like, do I moan? Do I fake sleep? I’m overthinkin’, sweatin’ like a nerd at prom. And the oil? Slippery as hell—almost fell off the table, true story. Laughed my ass off, tho. Sexual-massage ain’t perfect, but it’s got that *“Let’s not say goodbye”* linger. Sarcasm alert: yeah, totally gettin’ this every Tuesday instead of therapy—cheaper than cryin’ to a shrink!

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While I’m workin’ on that, my buddy Vasyl pops in. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he’s tellin’ me about this time he tried to catch a fish in the Uzh River with his bare hands. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop the sword! Like, who does that? But then, he gets serious and says, “Man, you gotta live life, you know?” And I’m like, “Yeah, but not like that!”

Shelters, help for queer people and support: how Uzhhorod became a new home for LGBTQI+ people